Check this out...

A little on the serious side...

2011-09-01T13:09:00.011+10:30

Hey guys! I know its been a while since I posted anything and this post is a little out of the norm, but I had this strange urge to share.

Since the sudden, unexpected and family shattering death of my 19 year old cousin, Jessica (pictured left) I've been considering my own mortality. It scares the crap outa me thinking about what will happen to me when I die, but there is one thing that makes me feel slightly better about it and I wanted to share it with you. Maybe it will make you feel better too, who knows.

This is a story about my Grandad and how he died and as morbid as it sounds, its actually a happy story. Bear with me!

Before I start, I'll tell you Grandad lived a full life. He and my Grandma had been married for more years than I can imagine, they moved the whole family from England to Australia in about 1980. Grandad even told me about driving lorries in WWII, across the Egyptian sands and how he could see the pyramids as he drove past but was not allowed to stop. He was jailed while in the army for having his lorry stolen! His gun was under the seat but his superiors never found out otherwise he would have been jailed for longer.

I'm getting off track however.

Grandad had been sick for a long time, he was old, it was to be expected. His body just started failing on him but his mind still worked perfectly well, he knew what was going on. So for years Grandad was bedridden, Grandma by his side caring for him the whole time. Before the end he was barely able to move from his bed to the couch 2 metres way.

I got the first call on my anniversary. My mum made me cry while I was out to dinner with my fiance and best friends. She said he'd had a stroke and the doctors didn't think he'd survive the night. Well he did and they sent him home the next day. He refused to take any more tests, he was sick of being poked and prodded and just wanted to go home. We all knew there was nothing they could do to make him better and so did he.

Despite that first call, Grandad hung on for months after that first stroke. He had another a couple of months after that with the same results. When I got the second call, I was a bit less shocked, it'd all hit me in the first call and it was more like a waiting game after that.

The day he died, I drove over to my mums to comfort her, it was then she told me the story I'm about to tell you.

Grandad wasn't afraid, she'd asked him and he had smiled. The night he died, Grandma was watching her favorite show, Wheel of Fortune (eye roll), when he called her into his room. Grandma went to him and asked him what he wanted, did he need water? Did he want to sit up? No, he said, just lay with me. It was then that Grandma noticed his breathing was all out of whack and his eyes were a bit unfocused. She knew then that it was almost time, so she lay down on the bed with him.

"Give us a kiss, love," he said. So Grandma gave him a kiss and snuggled up next to him. He died then. He had known it was time and had called her in to say goodbye.

That one moment, of knowing and being able to say goodbye to his wife, of not being afraid.... that makes me happy, hopeful and courageous.

RIP Grandad, Happy Father's Day, we love you.

Grandad, my cousins and me.

And Jessica, sweet cousin, you were too young to leave us. We miss you everyday but don't worry, we'll look after each other. Love you. RIP

I leave you with this song by The Herd that makes me think of everyone dear to me.

Breaking News: Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality....

2009-05-12T13:24:00.002+10:30

We all know who gave it to him....

Flasher!

2009-03-24T16:22:00.001+11:00

I giggled a lot when I saw this..... still am!! *giggles*

Post Secret

2008-12-16T15:20:00.003+11:00

I was just reading the latest updates of one of my favourite sites Post Secret when I came across this secret. Please read the whole story, is very touching!

-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 5:18 AM
Subject: timecard you're not alone

My son just wrote Santa last night asking for that special present and I didn't have the heart to tell him that "Santa's" back injury has kept HER from waiting tables the past two weeks .

my secret:
I wish Santa Claus was real so on Christmas no child would have to go without and no parent would have to feel like they failed there child.

-Amber (with permission)

-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 12:11 AM
Subject: re: timecard you're not alone

I know I cannot do this for every child out there, but if you would tell her that there is someone out there willing to try and buy their son that gift, then I would appreciate it very much.

I am a college student with a limited budget, but it would be a lovely Christmas present for me if I were able to put a smile on the faces of two strangers on Christmas morning.

-----Email Message
Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 11:53 PM
Subject: RE: timecard you're not alone

First off let me tell you how thankful I am to you and your wonderful offer. I was not in anyway expecting any sort of help I just wanted to let this person know they were not alone.

Gratefully yours,
-Amber

[Frank's (Founder of Post Secret) Note:] (I asked Amber to set-up a PayPal account using this email address for those of us wanting to help.)
(PayPal Account information removed, as per Ameber's request.)

-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 4:05 PM
Subject: extra credit good karma AMBER

I made a donation and I was surprised at how good it felt. One does not have to be a millionaire to feel the joy of being generous.

-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 5:04 PM
Subject: RE: timecard you're not alone

Frank,

Santa Claus is real and is alive and well. He lives in you and others like you all over the world. I am overwhelmed by the love and generosity strangers have shown my family today. I never would have imagined it would get as large a response in such little time as it has. Not only will I be able to afford the present he asked for but clothes and other necessities I had been putting off.

At this time I am asking that you remove my paypal account from postsecret and I urge anyone else who wants to help someone in need to get into contact with their local community action centers.

Thank you for making my wish come true,
-Amber

ps I will send pictures of christmas morning!

Concrete Poles...

2008-09-24T11:59:00.001+10:30

These men are installing and setting solid steel pillars in
concrete to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement
outside a sports bar in downtown Norman , OK

They are cleaning up at the end of the day.

How long do you think it will be before they realize where
their vehicle is parked?

In Celebration Of Me Getting Engaged....

2008-09-24T11:56:00.001+10:30

Funny Story...

2008-09-13T13:15:00.001+10:30

This would have to be one of the best emails I've ever read....

For anyone who didn't see the episode of David Letterman's show where this story was told, read this: (And remember it's a true story...)

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. 'I'll be right back and we'll go to eat' she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.

As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was very tall and had an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: 'These two are going to rob me.' Her next thought was: 'Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen.' But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another.

Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. 'My God' she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said, 'Hit the floor.'

Instinct told her to do what they told her.

The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. 'Take my money and spare me', she prayed.

More seconds passed, then she heard one of the men say politely, 'Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button.'

The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh.

The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. 'When I told my friend here to hit the floor,' said the average sized one, 'I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am.'

He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.

The woman thought: 'My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.' She was too humiliated to speak.

The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room..

She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening.

As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator.

The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room; a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred-dollar bill. The card said: 'Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years.'

It was signed: Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan.

Dorito Season...

2008-09-13T13:14:00.000+10:30

Irish College Entrance Exam...

2008-09-13T13:08:00.002+10:30

And now for the answers!

Yeah, I didn't pass either!

Most Awesomest Bathroom I've Ever Seen!

2008-09-12T17:06:00.003+10:30

How awesome is this bathroom? I'm thinking bout rennovating my bathroom, was looking at baths and vanity's on ebay and found this pic. wish my bathroom looked like this! Notice that there is a double shower and its actually part of the floor. Best bathroom ever!

Just hadta post this again...

2007-08-02T17:56:00.000+10:30

Why?

2007-08-02T17:21:00.000+10:30

Wake up and pay attention!

Turn Up Your Speakers & Listen!

Why do people commit suicide?

Why do people cut themselves?

Why do girls become anorexic and bulimic?

Why do kids bring guns to school?

Why do kids get depressed...so they start using meds, and abusing them?

Why do girls feel the need to act like sluts to impress guys?

Why cant people show their sexuality freely, without worrying about being judged?

In the Bill Of Rights, it says we have FREEDOM OF SPEECH! So why are we so afraid to speak up for ourselves?

I KNOW WHY!

"Whores"

"Geeks"

"Goths"

"Emos"

AND THAT’S NOT EVEN HALF OF THEM!

Society in general

IS THIS AUSTRALIAN?

I AM SICK OF IT!
Stereotypes, and everything else.
I want to live in a good place, without suicide, rape, murder, and JUDGMENT!

IF THIS HAD ANY AFFECT ON YOU REPOST IT!

No, a ghost will not rape your dog.
You wont have relationship problems
No you won’t die in 7 days.
BUT you will have the guilt on your shoulders that you didn’t try to get the message across.
I want to stop the madness.
If I only reached out to 1 or 2 people that’s fine.
At least MY conscience is clear...HOW ABOUT YOURS?

New Virus!!

2007-06-22T20:54:00.000+10:30

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called

Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest liquor store. Purchase the antidote known as
Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or
Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

A Little Story...

2007-06-15T20:42:00.000+10:30

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his Books.

I thought to myself,
"Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends he said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and myfriends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown , and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began

"Graduation is a time ! To thank those who help Ed you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all! about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse.

Women playing golf...

2007-05-20T14:01:00.000+10:30

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologise.

"Please allow me to help. I'm a physio therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?" He replied,

"It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Dog Food Diet

2007-05-13T04:55:00.000+10:30

I have three dogs and I was buying a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and standing in line at the check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 20 kilos before I woke up in intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch... why else would I buy dog food??

Hahaha!!!

2007-04-05T20:28:00.000+10:30

Comment on my blog!!!

2007-04-05T20:10:00.000+10:30

You really must check out the comment I got today in response to the post I made in Jan last year... it has nothing to do with the baked beans I posted... but very funny...

http://geeoh.blogspot.com/2006/01/australian-baked-beans.html

Thinking bout baked beans, am over that now, mashed potato is the way to go!

Just for Greg-wah!

Which of The Two Birds Is a Female???

2007-03-27T17:56:00.000+10:30

Below are Two Birds. Study them closely ...

See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female.

It can be done.

Even by one with limited bird watching skills.

Why Women Are Crabby!

2007-03-20T20:09:00.000+11:00

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John . Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while theOB ? says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar . Calm down and push. "Just one more good push" (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
%$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. You think women are the "weaker sex?" Yeah right. Bite me.

I Got a Crankin' Holiday!!!

2006-12-12T14:29:00.000+11:00

The view from the beach across the road from our unit. The city on the point there is Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia! Fantastic!!!

Luke and I recently flew to Queensland to celebrate my 21st and to visit my Dad. We spent 4 days in the middle of nowhere (where I was born) with my Dad and his wife Liz. Twas pretty good, hot though! We went bush bashing in my 100 year old jeep (prolly exaggerated a little bit there lol), drove a Nissan 300zx twin turbo (oooo that was niiiiice and fast!!), visited my Nanna and Pop (who leant us the unit on the beach!) and drank quite a lot of beer!

After 4 days with the parentals, they dropped us off on the Gold Coast! W00t! This is tourist central in Australia, containing 4 major theme parks, good surfing and major shopping! We did all that and more!

The first of the parks we went to was Warner Brothers Movie World where we went on the Scooby Doo roller coaster, Superman rollercoaster, Lethal Weapon rollercoaster, Wild Wild West log ride, just to name the mjor things.

Seaworld was next, seals, dolphins, sharks, penguins, fish, polar bears, etc. Spent the whole day looking at the animals (I was sick with a major cold so we just took it easy that day).

Dreamworld is always one I really enjoy going to. Lots of rides, lots of animals and silly characters. Fun, fun, fun for the whole family! It is also the home of Australia's Big Brother! I went on the scariest ride ever there. It's a 38 storey tower and it takes you right to the top and then just lets you go and you fall! Oh my goodness! I thought I was going to die! (for those of you who dont know, I'm afraid of heights!)

Last but not least was Wet and Wild Water Park. I was a bit dissapointed actually. Because it is the end of school for some, that's where they all go, so the lines were nuts! We only spent a few hours there and only went on a few of the slides. I would have like to stay longer but the lines were ridiculas!

More photos and stuff to come!

2006-08-30T23:11:00.000+10:30

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:
(first pet and current street name)
Pheobe Haimlee
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME:
(grandfather/grandmother on your moms side, your favorite candy)
Fran Skittlez
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME:
(first initial of first name, first two of your middle name)
G (no middle name)
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Wolf
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in.)
Almgeogekwi
6. Terrorist Name:
(middle name spelled backwards, yourmom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Ynamreg
7.SUPERHERO NAME:
("The", your favorite color, favorite drink)
The Purple Johnny Black

Dude, That Was Totally A Bro Job!

2006-07-27T02:05:00.001+10:30

Definition of a Bro Job

One hetrosexual male performing oral sex to another hetrosexual male

"So are you, like, gay now that Ernie sucked your wang?"

"No! It was totally just a bro job. I loves the ladies."

Funnies...

2006-07-24T23:10:00.000+10:30

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23.Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

For The Last Comment...

2006-07-24T00:26:00.000+10:30

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

One Of Those Forwards...

2006-05-29T00:46:00.000+10:30

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He
remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and
continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink> himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who> would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, You
forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still
important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are welcome at my water bowl anytime!!

A Few Photos From My Saturday Night Adventure!!!

2006-05-22T10:34:00.000+10:30

Me and Mitchell

Harry and Hannah

Hannah and me

Me and Sam

All in all, I had a fabulas night on Saturday!

Just a Post to Let You Know...

2006-05-16T09:35:00.000+10:30

We won the pink competition!!!!! W00t! Go the girls in pink!!

Yes, Yes, I Know!!!

2006-05-07T11:49:00.000+10:30

Yes, it has been a while since I have posted anything, and that is because I am one busy bee at the moment. Work, work, work! Have been joint managing the last few weeks while my boss was on holidays. Fun, fun, fun! We just did another fundraiser, raising money for the Breast Cancer Network of Australia, helping women and men who have breast cancer, and we all know how I like to take funny photos of our fundraisers, so here's some more yah!

Please Don't Harm The Duck!!!

2006-05-07T11:44:00.000+10:30

Joke!

2006-04-27T01:11:00.000+10:30

Whenever life sends difficult situations my way and I start to fret, I just think to myself "do it for Bill Cosby". Like when I was fighting in the trenches in Iraq, and the enemy was upon us, I rose up with my gun in the air and shouted, "Come on boys! This one's for Bill Cosby!". And by Bill Cosby's beard we triumphed!

Nice One Cazza!!

2006-04-21T01:52:00.000+10:30

While a doctor is operating on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was doing as President. The old man said, "Ya know, Bush is a post turtle." Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was. He said, "Did you ever drive down a country road and come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing down. That's a post turtle.

Just To Let You Know...

2006-04-10T04:35:00.000+10:30

I passed my Phase One Driving Test.
Now have only 25hrs to complete in my LogBook.
One Month and counting and I will have my Licence!
(hopefully)

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

2006-04-08T22:17:00.000+10:30

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point aHair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Frieswith that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has GottenOver Their Caffeine Addictions,Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, Write "For SmugglingDiamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a seriousface.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical SoundsAll Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their PartyBecause You're Not In The Mood .
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, RockBottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going ToHave To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity....... Tell Everyone You Know About My Blog!!! LOL

PMH Day...

2006-04-04T22:55:00.000+10:30

Well, as we all know, I work for Bakers Delight and on Saturday the 1st we donated $1 from every six pack of hot cross buns to the infant ward at Princess Margaret Hospital! And so, to celebrate this day, in the crazy way we Bakers Delightians do, we dressed up as doctors and nurses. My friend Kylie and I even managed to convince a few people we were actually nurses! Hahaha! Any way, the point of this post is that my boss took the funniest photo of me, very early in the morning and I just had to share it with everyone! So here ya go:

Go Fug Yourself!

2006-03-28T00:17:00.000+11:00

Now no w now, I know how this must look, but firstly I must praise the great almighty Daisy for leading me to this blog! How could I live without it! You absolutely have to check it out! Oh, I can't resist! Here are some Fugs!

Diana Fug

Basic Fugstinct II:
" AND I SHALL BE CROWNED QUEEN OF THE DAMNED!!!"

The Chasm...

2006-03-27T23:50:00.000+11:00

Yes, this is the Chasm! This game was actually very logical. You are Joe and Joe must venture into the Chasm to return the water flow back to his village before the footy starts (obviously created by an ozzy...). So, you go into the chasm and direct the flow of water through the pipes back to the town. Sounds easy right? Just make sure you turn the right levers and take the right turns, eh...

Again, as always, there is a fabulous walkthrough, complete with pictures and step by step instructions. This walkthrough is provided by Geri (aka Larashots) and I must admit that this is one of the easiest walkthroughs to follow.

So, check it out...

Heard Bout That Celebrity?

2006-03-25T20:52:00.000+11:00

Guy: Heard bout that celebrity who was stabbed after the Oscars?

Girl: No...

Guy: Reese something...

Girl: Oh, Reece Witherspoon?

Guy: No with a knife!

*Badoom Tsh!*

Sickness...

2006-03-23T15:24:00.000+11:00

Due to complaints made by The Brat (aka Cazza) I am updating my blog to let you know that I am sick! :~( Because when I am sick, everyone knows about it. So now you know that my neck is swollen and I have updated my blog! Two birds with one stone. That's todays saying, there will be a pop quiz on it tomorrow so you better have done your homework! Happy Brat?

U-G-L-Y You Aint Got No Alibi...

2006-03-15T09:28:00.000+11:00

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his behind off. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and says:" Make 'em all ugly again"

THIRD Failed Driving Test, Same PRICK of a Driving Instructor...

2006-03-10T19:33:00.000+11:00

Below is an email I just sent off to the head of the Department for Planning and Infrastructure, a formal complaint against the driving Instructor I have had 3 times now! Read it and comment so I feel better :(

To The Head of The Department of Planning and Infrastructure,

I have just participated in my third driving test with Steve (sorry dont know his last name) from Kelmscott licencing centre. This is my third failed test with Steve. The first was of my own fault. The second, Steve failed me because he said that I had swerved into the second lane while waving to a friend. I did in fact wave to this friend, but I DID NOT swerve into the second lane. There was not even a second lane marking on the road until after the train tracks (just before Kelmscott trainstation). He also said that I waved exuberantly in front of his face, "a ol' good wave to your mate" he called it. I must admit that I took an immediate disliking to Steve. I had heard about him before I even met him. He is known around Kelmscott as 'Sleazy Steve' and it was said if you were a girl and wore a short skirt, he would pass you. I did not know I was getting Steve, in fact, I hoped I wasn't getting him. And then I did.

My other half also had Steve about two years ago when he was trying for his licence. He said that he was doing a reverse park in his '83 Celica and Steve yelled "STOP", pulled up the park brake agressively and said he was about to hit the car beside him. My other half was not impressed, he said "I'm about a 12 inches away from that car" Steve said he was an inch away and my other half detested and Steve got out to have a look.. My other half was right, he was "about 12 inches away from the other car" (in Steve's own words), he said to prove that he could do the park without hitting the other car, he would finish it, and so he did. A perfect park! And Steve failed him anyway bacause of that.

The second test I had, I was dissapointed to see Steve again. I found he does not speak nicely and respectfully to me, treating me as though I am stupid! I do not appreciate this, however I kept my mouth shut. When he failed me for what I thought was not true, I didn't even want to continue trying to get my licence. My intructor Dennis talked me back around and I booked another test.

The third and FINAL test I am ever going to have with Steve was today, 10th March 2006. I was immediately discouraged when I saw him and felt I had failed before I even got in the car, especially after the last time when he had asked me how many lessons I had done since the last test. I said I had had 3 or 4 in the month since my last test. He said that wasn't enough, why didn't I have more? I told him that my instructor, Dennis, had said that I drive very well and that we had covered everything we could. If I had any more driving lessons, it would be to run through the test, which I do perfectly everytime. There was no point in doing more than one lesson every week or so. And so that is what I did. Steve however did not think that was good enough.

And so I got in the car with Steve. I was thinking I must drive carefully and concentrate because Steve picks on the littlest details of my driving. (ie. I do no accelerate fast enough, tells me that it is 60km/hr on a road that I was going 50kms because I was unsure of the speed.) I completed my reverse park in the carpark of Amadale/Kelmscott Hospital. I must admit it was not my best parking, within the lines but a bit fast due the the downward slope of the carpark. We then continued on.

Steve took me to a rather steep hill which I started up in third gear. I realised halfway that I was not goin to make it in third and so changed down to second. Again I realised I was not going to make it in second and changed down to first. Steve said (approx.) "That was not fast enough, you need to change gears faster, your going to blow the engine up" (I must point out that the way he was talking to me was upsetting and demeaning, the 'I'm-so-much-better-than-you' tone, for want of another explaination) "Do you understand?!?" I said yes Steve under my breath which he did not quite hear (still trying to not get upset while I'm driving!) He said "What was that?" and I said gritting my teeth "Yes - Steve" He then proceeded to tell me that I must have an attitude problem (!) to which I said, "You're the one with the attitude!" After that he made me pull over so he could drive back to the Licencing Centre.

I found Steve to be a worse driver than myself. I found that his driving on the way back to the Licencing Centre to be careless, as if he was trying to show off to me how much of a better driver he is than me. He fiddled with the air con and the radio while stopped at a red light and so did not realise straight away when it had turned green. I thought he was driving rather close to the curbs and thought he was actually going to hit a few of them. I did not speak to him on the way back.

Once in the carpark of the Licening Centre he drove slowly to the very end and said to me on the way, "If you have a good reason for being in a bad mood today, then I can arrange for this test to be classed as cancelled due to personal reasons and you wont have to pay for the next one." I said, hiding how upset I was, that I didn't really want to do this again and got out of the car. I think he only offered to do that because he knew I was going to write this letter.

I had told Steve before we got in the car that I was not having a very good day. Apparently Steve thinks I said I had a c**t of a day." (Steve said this to Dennis afterwards) I would NEVER say that word like that! NEVER! My mother does not like that word and so I have NEVER used it like that! AND I would NEVER say it to someone who is marking me for my driving test. I am not that stupid!

Also, during my second test, Steve immediatly put the air con on. I said I did not like the aircon on, i liked the wind in my face and the window open. He persisted asking me to turn it on until I gave in. He also said, "What are you going to do if it's raining?" I said, have the window down a little and it would probably be too cold to have the air con on if it was raining. (Again, talking to me as if I am an idiot!!!!) I find the air con drains the car of power, makes it hard to get up hills and speed up. I am not used to driving with the air con on and I do not like it. It is not up to Steve to turn it on, it is my choice, he should respect that! He had the air con on again today and when I said to him that I thought it affected the car, he snorted at me and said it doesn't do anything!

I find him rude, arrogant, demeaning and full of himself. I have no idea how he got his job, he makes me nervous to drive and eventually angry. I do not wish to see him again, let alone drive with him again! It makes me wonder how many people has he ever passed in his career? My instructor, Dennis, does not like him and I bet I could find more people who he has done wrong to. I want an appology and to resit my test with another instructor. Maybe he should be reviewed.

Thank you for your time and patience in reading this email. I hope to hear back from you soon.

Regards

GeeOh

What is it about the green ones?

2006-03-06T23:43:00.000+11:00

~Introducing Miss Green~

Want to know more about this gorgeous creation, visit

http://global.mms.com/au/

And just what is it about the green ones?

Bird Influenza...

2006-03-06T23:12:00.000+11:00

With all the worry about bird flu travelling to Australia, someone has had the brilliant idea of making a game where the object is to kill as many chickens as possible. This game is pretty fun! You have a high powered, multi-shot gun of some kind (someone's gonna tell me what it is I'm sure) and all you have to do is shoot as many chooks as you can hit! The green ones are worth extra time (what is it about the green ones?) and don't forget the boxes of ammo! Good luck guys!

Check it out...

Garfield!

2006-02-24T14:16:00.000+11:00

Now I know we all love Garfield, I mean who couldn't love a big, fat, full of himself cat? Any way, now you can be Garfield on one of his wacky adventures! Guide Garfield through the haunted house without getting scared to death (literally) so he can find his most favourite thing, food! Donuts in this case...

Any way, try it, it's really easy, but if you need a hand try this, its a full walkthrough, just incase it's too hard for you...

Check it out...

Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman!

2006-02-23T02:17:00.000+11:00

I got this email from my friend today, who is also a Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman! I thort I would share it, since I havent got much time to post much more right now, sorry peeps

*sheepish grin*

Today is International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's Day, so please send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it from a Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman! And remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Mother Paris Hilton?!?!

2006-02-16T16:28:00.000+11:00

Paris Hilton is reportedly being considered by award winning Indian director T. Rajeevnath, for the role of Mother Teresa.

"My agents in California have contacted Paris Hilton," Rajeevnath said.

"Although there are several actresses willing to play the role of Mother Teresa, the most widely respected and loved person, the history of the actress who is finally chosen for the role would have to be analysed thoroughly before she is chosen".

I know, my jaw dropped too. I mean, Mother Theresa! May the Lord help us!

P.S. Post I thought you might enjoy Daisy ;)

Blast From the Past....

2006-02-16T03:26:00.000+11:00

I was just sitting at the kitchen table doing some homework for my traineeship, when I remembered about the many times I used to do it for school. I haven't done much schooling; Finished TEE Year 12 but I didn't do the exams. which worked out fine, I didn't want to do them and my school didn't either. But still, it's been 3 years since I graduated and how much has changed! Take these pictures for example, they are both of me and my mate Bluey, the first one was when we were 16, the second is now, we are 20. Still us, but different. Something to ponder on...

Your Friendly Computer Guy!

2006-02-11T17:56:00.000+11:00

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called the computer guy over to my desk. He clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."

"What's an ID Ten T Error, in case I need to fix it again?"

He grinned. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

I wrote: I D 1 0 T

Check out the sidebar eh?

2006-02-10T21:14:00.000+11:00

Well, this is just a post to let you know that I have been busy updating my sidebar. There are now the new sections of Jokes and Games, more to come so keep checking. I also wanted to mention the new tabs on there (donate food, etc.). These tabs are a must have, and they don't cos you a thing! please click on them to donate (for free) to help out. If you are even more keen, msg me on msn Dawbs_18@hotmail.com and ill tell you how to post em, but then again, maybe your smart enough to figure it out for yourself. I'd like to thank The Seeker for helping me out. No html skill for me! Good luck peeps.

80's Lyrics Quiz - courtesy of Mummy

2006-02-09T22:40:00.000+11:00

This is the picture they gave me, with my score of 45.35 / 107 (or sumthin like that) Try it, tis pretty good. I'm not a big 80's fan but I still did a better job than Olive who only got 14.something! Hahahaha!! Check it out...

Check out my Poll!!

2006-02-09T22:29:00.000+11:00

Look in the sidebar and check out my poll, in other words; VOTE!! I'm not gonna waste my typing skills telling you guys to comment any more! Insted, cote in my Poll! I wanna know what you think of my blog. Does it suck? Or is it the coolest blog you've ever seen?

VOTE No1 GEE

WaHoo!

Joke Time!

2006-02-02T19:40:00.000+11:00

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

I wanna be a papparazi when I grow up!

2006-01-31T20:01:00.000+11:00

Another cool game for when your bored! Ever wanted to be a papparazi and snap heaps of cool photos of famous people? Check out this game, watch out for Paris Hilton and Michael Jackson's crazy zoo animals! good luck, I didn't even get on the scoreboard!

Play the Papparazi Game...

Funnies...

2006-01-31T19:29:00.000+11:00

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23.Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Deal or no Deal?

2006-01-31T19:05:00.000+11:00

Ever watched that show on TV and wanted to strangle the person for turning down the $187,000 offer from the bank. Well now you can decide at home for yourself which cases should stay and which has $1,000,000 stashed in it. The only thing differing from the real thing, is the money, I won $300,000 and am stll waiting for my oversized cheque! I'm gonna email every day til i get it Channel 9! Hahaha...

Play Deal or No Deal...

Australian baked beans...

2006-01-31T18:44:00.000+11:00

A group of baked beans were hitchhiking in Queensland and ended up in Cairns! Baddum Tsch!

Australians....

2006-01-28T13:12:00.000+11:00

I love Australia, really, but Australia Day causes such a loss of Australian face. I mean really, we celebrate on the river in Perth and by the time the morning comes there are millions of pieces of rubbish, some of which are blown into the river. Fantastic! Lets celebrate we are Australian by littering the foreshore and our already disgusting river. I havent gone to the foreshore for a few years now, I would rather not get mobbed by gangs of crazy people. I would not like to wallow through the muck just to watch a billion-or-so dollar lights show for half an hour. Not that I don't love the fireworks, its just that every year, they spend more money, more time, more effort on creating better, bigger Lottery West Fireworks than the year before, dont they have better things to spend their money on?!? Gees, there are people starving in this world and we spend millions on pretty lights in the sky!!!! Am I the only one to see this as wrong?? *sighs*

Any way, that wasn't the only this I saw that I was dissapointed in, sometimes I'm ashamed to be Australian. As most people who read this know, I work in the City of Perth in Western Australia. I work right near one of the busiest shops in the city and see lots of interesting things. What I am about to say is not meant to be anti-aboriginal (my sister is quarter-cast) but this aboriginal lady was following two passive beautiful ladies in full hijabs and traditional dress (see picture) swearing her Australian head off at them! These poor ladies had done nothing to provoke this attack. Is this what has become of Australians? This is the attituide the media is spreading and are we stupid enough to judge people by their religion, their beliefs, their clothes?!?!?! What is going on!!!! How dare this woman follow and abuse them and tell them they should get out of her country. She then yelled at them that she was an educated woman, obviously not well enough. It sickens me!

My matey Bluey...

2006-01-22T15:13:00.000+11:00

Well this post is to celebrate the fact that I do indeed have friends!! WaHoo! Bluey (inset with me!) has been a great friend of mine for about 6 years. We have a long and complicated history which I wont bother to explain just yet, but I am glad to have him as a friend and to add his brand new blog straight into my favourites. I warn you all, if you venture onto his blog you will find lots of UNWRITTEN LAW and phsycho hippie babble. Enjoy! and welcome to the blogosphere Bluey!

Mmmmmmmm Stoned!

2006-01-17T18:03:00.000+11:00

How cute is that! hahaha

Am I a slut?

2006-01-17T17:33:00.000+11:00

Take the test at www.okcupid.com

Thankyou!

2006-01-17T10:57:00.000+11:00

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken
the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue
on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I
need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola
because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an
appealing characteristic.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I Have
363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the
internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th
time).

I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change
once
I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special on-line email program.

Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I
will now return the favour!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diahorrea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this afternoon. I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

DO IT NOW OR ELSE.

And have a nice day!

Catcha later

hrrrmmmm yess...

2006-01-13T22:52:00.000+11:00

So its been ages since I blogged, I'm gonna make lots of excuses like;

It was Christmas
It was New Years
I've been working
I've been sleeping

ect ect. and then I'm going to promise New Years pics and blah blah blah.

Who cares.

I at least have been watching my people counter going up slowly over the holiday season and am proud to say I have finally reached the big 1000! WaHoo! You can't tell by looking at my comments section though

*hint hint nudge nudge*

I have a strange feeling though that people are just Google-ing the words 'Christmas' and 'Pressies' and stumbling onto my blog, saying 'What the hell is this crap' and pressing the back button.

*sigh*

That's probably what I would do any way :p

Will blog again when I find something remotely interesting.

Pressies...

2005-12-25T04:04:00.000+11:00

(To the tune of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, which may happen later ;) )

99 Chrissie pressies under the tree
99 Chrissie pressies
One of those pressies gets unwrapped
Then there's 98 Chrissie pressies left under the tree!

Christmas...

2005-12-24T23:45:00.000+11:00

Ok, so I spose I should make some comment on this day that occurs evey year. Really! It annoyed me that I had to work today, Christmas Eve and a Saturday! It kinda annoyes me that I have so much to do before everyone I know comes round for dinner. But it's cool how many pressies are under our tree! They are starting to creep a little too far into the lounge room. I have never seen soooo many presents under one tree before! Will take a photo of it tomorrow before everyone opens them, or while, either way.

Any way, thats enough, Merry Christmas everyone!

Stupidist Way To Get Fired!!!

2005-12-17T07:15:00.000+11:00

My friend's boss called him the other day, after 'Googling' his business website and finding my friends' Blog at the top of the Google search list. Well, this rich old German man went insane! He woke this friend twice in the early morning, after he had been to work for a number of hours (in a bakery, so they were EARLY hours!) and told him to delete the post! Did I mention that this post was dated in April! That's right, April! But wait, there's more!

Once the post was deleted, the boss called back and demanded that my friend remove the link from Google as well! Hahahaha, What The!?! Any way, he is soooo computer illiterate (the boss that is) that he said he was goin to sue my friend for defimation of his business! Just because this friend had very strong political veiws on the war in Iraq, he was suddenly a "Arabic Fundametalist" and a threat to our national security and if this link was not removed from Google's searches then my friend would not get his pay from the week before!

We both knew he was in the wrong, laughed from the beginning about his calling a lawyer, silly man. No legal grounds to stand on, if only he knew. As you can guess, my friend refused to work for this man again, demanded his pay and a full apology, and, of course, he got it! Again; stupid man!

IraQ - al-Qadea

2005-12-17T06:44:00.000+11:00

I'm a lucky, lucky Gee!

2005-12-14T14:01:00.000+11:00

I got a call at work the other day, from the Perth police, asking if I had lost something. I didn't even notice, but on my break I had left my wallet in the dodgiest alleyway in the middle of the city. Not only that but I had just taken $200 out of my bank to pay for some shopping. And guess what?!? Some nice honest person named Clive handed it in to the City Info Desk, with everything in it, including ALL my money! What a nice guy! Of course I was a bit distressed because when I got the first call I was so in shock that they had my wallet and I didnt that I didnt even ask how they knew where I was or if everything was still there.
The guy at the Info Desk told me I hadta go to the police station (on the opposite side of the city) and sign it out before going 200m from my work to pick it up, and not until 8pm! I finished work at 4pm, had no money, no bank card, no way to get home. Argh!
Any way, I went back to work, still in shock. Then got another call. The nice guy at the Info Desk had someone from the police station bring him copies of the forms I hadta sign and so I didnt have to go to the Police Station, thank goodness!
I got Clives number and called him and thanked him. Imagine that! I left my wallet in the Dodgiest alleyway and the only honest person in the city found it and handed it in! I'm a lucky, lucky Gee!

Internet Relationship?

2005-12-08T02:08:00.000+11:00

Notice

2005-12-07T01:30:00.000+11:00

NOTICE:

PLEASE NOTICE!!!!!

You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice.
And, we have noticed that some of our notices have not been noticed.
This is very noticeable.

It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have
been noticeably unnoticeable. Therefore, this notice is to
remind you to notice the notices and to respond to the
notices because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.

From the Notice Committee for Noticing Notices

Random Comments

2005-12-07T01:03:00.000+11:00

I was just checking some comments, this one is from a while ago, from the post Road Rage. Note that the post is about idiots on the roads, now read this comment by Thought & Humour.

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Howdy

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

MMMMMMMM Yes... I think we are thinking completely different things here...

Please, someone explain! Am I missing something here?

SmartyBlog Awards Drawn!

2005-12-07T00:45:00.000+11:00

And no, neither Olive nor I won the first prize of $10,000 and we had such plans for it. *dreams of the new laptop she was gonna get* Oh well, at least I know that my blog (and possibly Olives) is sooooo much better than Bridge Girl's Travelling Diary *pffft* Not even in the Top Ten! What was wrong with these judges?!?

To check out the Top Ten Australian Blogs, click here.

*grumble grumble*

Postcards

2005-12-05T14:43:00.000+11:00

(back of card) "I work at Disney World. I always act really super-nice but in my head , when a guest is being annoying, I imagine myself SMASHING THEIR FACE IN!!"

Many of you have probably already heard of Post Secret, if not you should definately check out the blog. It is not a regular blog, more like a homepage really. There is a book that has been released called PostSecret. You make your own personal postcard and send it to this guy with your secrets revealed. This guy must get a LOT of mail!

Mums Home-Made Patè

2005-12-05T00:53:00.000+11:00

What You Need
500gms chopped chicken livers
5 rashers of bacon
1 diced onion
1 crushed clove of garlic
1 tablespoon of brandy, scotch or whisky
1/2 small tub of thickened cream

What To Do
Heat a little oil in a pan and fry onion, garlic and liver on a low heat until pinkish. Let cool.
Blend with a cocktail blender, adding salt, pepper and brandy until smoothish.
Add cream. (Warning: makes a big batch. If you wish to freeze some, add cream once drefrosted.)

Love Gee's Mum!

Brain Wave

2005-12-05T00:43:00.000+11:00

"I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!"

I've seen this kinda thing before in emails and such, but when I came across it on Shambles & Rambles I just hadta do a cut/paste. I think Olive in turn found it on Kahlid's blog Secrets in Baghdad and I just couldn't resist posting it too.

A piece of wisdom...

2005-12-05T00:27:00.000+11:00

We all have events from our past that haunt us as they reemerge as thoughts disguised as the real thing. Keep in mind the idea that thoughts can't hurt us without our consent.

For Hannah

2005-11-22T13:48:00.000+11:00

Thanks again to the Daily Gyyan! Such a cool blog!

The SmartyBlog Awards!

2005-11-22T13:41:00.000+11:00

Help SmartyHost in its quest to find Australias best blog! Enter your blog and you could win $10,000 cash grand prize or one of 10 SmartBlog packages (worth $250)

http://www.smartyhost.com.au/emailcash/win$10000.html

I was sent this link from my darling mother. Both Olive and I have entered so maybe he will win, I wont cos my blog is worth $0.00 *wah wah wah* So visit and comment people! If you are in Australia, feel free to enter as well, but know that you dont stand a chance against Olive :p lol

The Dinner Party!

2005-11-22T13:26:00.000+11:00

Ok, so it was my birthday on the 18th and I am officially no longer a teenager *sigh* To celebrate I had 6 of my best friends come over for a home cooked meal, cooked by me! And what a success! We had chicken parma bake, potato bake and fresh salad, along with the mars bar slice (recipe below). It was indeed fantastic, even though I was a bit worried I wouldnt have enough food for everyone. It was the first time I cooked for so many people.

I have updated my computer which means broadband is not too far away. Yay!

Also, today I have my first driving lesson. I know, I got my L's ages ago and I'm 20 and should have my licence but I'm lazy. Olives Mum bort me this driving lesson so that perhaps I will have more and finally get my licence! Hopefully this will get the ball rolling!

That's about all for now, will go look up some cool stuff to add to my oh so interesting blog.

Quick and Easy Mars Bar Slice!

2005-11-15T08:59:00.000+11:00

Ingredients
3 Mars Bars
90g butter
3 cups rice bubbles
200g melted chocolate (cooking or normal eating chocolate)

Method
Grease and line slice tin with baking paper
Melt Mars Bars with butter and mix with rice bubbles.
Pour mixture into tin.
Melt chocolate and pour over slice.
Let slice set in a cool place (or the fridge).
Remove slice from tin and cut into pieces.

MMMMmmMMMmmmmMMMMmmmmmmm

Quick and Dirty IQ Test!

2005-10-29T01:06:00.000+10:30

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional

Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Yes, ok, so I'm bored, but hey, I just had to share with you that I AM a genius!

What age do you act?

2005-10-29T00:48:00.000+10:30

You Are 23 Years Old

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

What Age Do You Act?

Oh Dear! I'm not 20 for another two or three weeks and this says I act 23!!!
*faints*

Tagged!!

2005-10-28T12:20:00.000+10:30

*sighs* Ok so I've been tagged by Olivebranch (surprise surprise) to do this assignment thingo. Sorry people, I took as long as I could before having to do it. So here we go...

Seven things I plan to do:

1. Quit smoking on my birthday
2. Finish my traineeship
3. Work hard
4. Eat properly
5. Sleep properly
6. Travel
7. Cuddle Olive

Seven things I can do:

1. Cuddle Olive
2. Be an annoyance
3. Type really fast!
4. Cook!
5. Coax people to comment on my blog ;)
6. Read a book in two days!
7. Share my sickness with the whole household! (I always was good at sharing)

Seven things I can't do:

1. Go without Olive for more than two days!
2. Cartwheels (my wrist can't hold my weight, though I used to do gymnastics)
3. Go too long without visiting my Mummy (who doesnt read my blog!)
4. Anything....when I'm sick :(
5. Warm my hands and feet in winter
6. Sleep through the night without waking
7. Can't wait for my best mate to turn 18 so we can hit the town!!! WaHoo!

Seven things I say most often:

1. Piiiiieeeee (pet name for Olive)
2. I'm hungry! My tummy hurts!
3. Bayyyyybeeeee, I love you! (when I want something)
4. What's for dinner?
5. Pick me up from the trainstation?
6. It's Bing!
7. The best (insert thing) eva!

Seven people I want to pass this tag onto:

Well, I dont know seven people, cos I have no friends, so if ya feel like doing it, leave a comment and do it!

The House

2005-10-27T23:43:00.000+10:30

Was just reading through The Seeker's blog, got some interesting stuff there.

The House caught my attention, an interactive flash game. You go into a house that no one has lived in since the family of four who were the last residents, mysteriously died! Enter The House and find out what happened to them. You definately have to click on everything more than once, which is an annoyance but tis good fun!

Check it out...

Thanks!

2005-10-27T13:29:00.000+10:30

Thanks for the comments, at least someone reads my blog! The only problem is the complaints I receive from my boyfriend, Olive, because I get more comments than him! Hahahaha! Yess! My blog is betterer than yours! Teehee!

Road Rage

2005-10-27T13:03:00.000+10:30

Olive and I were nearly killed the other day by an angry driver!! It was insane!!

Olive picked me up from the train station after work the other day and we had only gone about a hundred metres up the road when this car came zooming up at close to 100km/hr (in a 60km/hr zone!), hooned right up our ass then overtook when we were so close to a roundabout. Olive got angry 'What the f*ck' and flipped the bird at this guy. The driver of the other car slammed his breaks on right in front of us and got out of his car yelling and shaking his fist. He started towards us and Olive put the car into reverse and moved away slowly. The guy got back in his car so fast and reversed his car as fast as he could towards us! I freaked! He was trying to smash Olives band new shiney car! He's only had it for bout a month! And this car would've wreaked his car completely! Not to mention the cars behind us who were still moving towards us while we were reversing!

So, Olive took evasive action and moved into the other side of the road, still reversing! All the way back to the train station. The guy didn't follow us that far but Gee-sus!

I managed to get his licence plate number and we filed a report with the police. I'm always telling Olive that he shouldn't flip his finger at other drivers cos there are some crazy people out there who would do anything. I'm sure that his car would have been damaged if it wasn't for his quick thinking but it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't shown the other driver that particular finger.

Moral of the story: Watch out for angry drivers, don't flip the bird, make sure you know how to drive your car to avoid situations like this one!

REPEAT POST - WHY NO COMMENTS!?!?!

2005-10-22T12:53:00.000+10:30

I dont know why bloggers who read blogs dont comment! WHY? How are we supposed to know what you guys think of our blogs? And dont tell me through email! I want other people who come and read this site to be able to read the comments made by others, except there are none! WHY!?! COMMENT DAMN YOU! :p~~

Or does no one love me? :~(

You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...

2005-10-22T12:39:00.000+10:30

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night-light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.

The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

They don't want the cat shut in the house because "she" always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car...

I am Goober Liverhiney

2005-10-22T12:32:00.000+10:30

From Shambles & Rambles

The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants
And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey. The
evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names......

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first
name

a = poopsie b = lumpy c = buttercup
d = gadget e = crusty f = greasy
g = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chim
j = stinky k = flunky l = bootie
m = pinky n = zippy o = goober
p = doofus q = slimy r = loopy
s = snotty t = tootie u = dorkey
v = squeezit w = oprah x = skipper
y = dinky z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of
your new last name:
a = apple b = toilet c = giggle
d = burger e = girdle f = barf
g = lizard h = waffle i = cootie
j = monkey k = potty l = liver
m = banana n = rhino o = bubble
p = hamster q = toad r = gizzard
s = pizza t = gerbil u = chicken
v = pickle w = chuckle x = tofu
y = gorilla z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of
your new last name:
a = head b = mouth c = face
d = nose e = tush f = breath
g = pants h = shorts i = lips
j = honker k = butt l = brain
m = tushie n = biscuits o = hiney
p = chunks q = toes r = buns
s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles
v = kisser w = squirt x = humperdinck
y = brains z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.

William Jefferson Clinton is Bootie Liverbiscuits.

Now when you SEND THIS ON...use your new name as the subject.

And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults
laugh an average of 4 times a day.

Put more laughter in your day.

A Womans Poem

2005-10-22T12:06:00.000+10:30

Now I lay me
Down to sleep
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.
Please no age spots
Please no gray
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy
Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you've done.

Dear Dad

2005-10-22T11:53:00.001+10:30

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son,

John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer.

I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Mother and child

2005-10-04T11:04:00.000+10:30

A snippet I couldn't resist posting from the Daily Gyaan. Some good stuff!

Announcement of Upcoming (and just been) Birthdays!

2005-10-01T13:19:00.000+10:30

First and foremost, my love, olivebranch!

*waits for applause*

Happy birthday baby for the 24th of September! Hope you had a great day and night! It was good to see all your favourite friends piled up in your lounge chatting and drinking. It was a great day, even if it was Grand Final day as well. Love you heaps babe!

*applause*

Next, someone even more fabulous! Me! Teehee. And of course my brother, who's birthday also happens to be the same day as mine; 18th November. (Valentines Day, do the math) This year I will be a staggering 20 years old! *falls over* While my brother will be a lovely 14. Thats right, 6 years apart exactly. I nearly had a stroke when I found out the girl who works with me is the same age as my brother! Oh no! Woe is me. *sniffles* That means my brother has to start working soon.... bwahahahahaha! Good luck bro!

*pause*

Last of the year, but definately not the least loved, my bestest buddy, Hannah! Woohooo!! I have been waiting for this day (21st December) for 2 years now!! The big 1-8! Yes! We can finally go out on the town legally! We're gonna rock this joint! The only problem with this is, its on a Wednesday, its 3 days before Christmas, one week before New Years, and YOU NEED ID!!! *breathes in and out* We need to get you a passport right now so we can enjoy these wonderful holidays together! Love you chicken, lets rock the night away! *headbangs*

That is all! Dismissed!

breathes a sigh or relief

2005-10-01T13:11:00.000+10:30

Finally have a day off and now I can blog! And the question is yet again, "What should I blog about?" I ask myself this question every time because I'd like to keep my blog somewhat interesting and not all about me! You wouldn't think this would be hard, maybe it isnt for others, but I always seem to think of a great post while away from the computer, then when I come to be sitting here, can think of nothing! How frustrating. So perhaps I will cut the dribble and find something interesting to post today? *sheepish grin*

Another Semi-Entertaining Blog

2005-09-17T16:23:00.000+10:30

Surfing blogs again, as I do when bored, and came across Oopsie Daisy. Her funny style of writing kept me entertained for quite a while, which is a big accomplishment! WaHoo! Check it out...

Family Tree

2005-09-17T08:20:00.000+10:30

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter who, of course, was my stepmother.
Father's wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it, it simply drives me wild.
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!!

Wisdom Teeth

2005-09-17T07:04:00.000+10:30

Well, I had a very bad day today. I woke up and just wanted to go back to sleep. My wisdom teeth have been hurting for the past few days now, and it only seems to be getting worse. My glands are swollen and I'm starting to find it hard to swallow. Have taken 6 panadene today as I had to make it through 7 hours of work with sore teeth and back and constant hot and cold flushes. I hope it's just my teeth and I'm not getting sick. I hate being sick. I hate the dentist also...
On the brighter side, I finally got tickets to Unwritten Law!!! Me and my matey Nathaniel (below) have listened to Unwritten Law for years now! The first time they came to Perth I missed them because I was underage, the second time I got tickets then hadta sell em cos I hadta work that night, but this time, I have my tickets and I'm going if it kills me! WaHoo! Unwritten Law!

Only In America

2005-09-17T06:30:00.000+10:30

... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille.

Full Metal Alchemist

2005-09-17T05:04:00.000+10:30

My younger brother first got me onto this series after he bought the first DVD and begged me for a week to watch it with him. When I got around to it I was quite impressed. The 3rd disk has just been released and I was among the first to hire it from my much loved DVD store. It is the story of two brothers who are master alchemists and their search for the legendary Philosophers Stone. Alchemy is a science (no longer practiced) which seeks to transform one chemical into another through combination of magic and primitive chemistry. At a young age, the older of the brothers becomes a State Alchemist and is sent on numerous missions by the State to investigate claims of alchemy. One I would definately recommend, check it out...

Full Metal Alchemist

Blog of Quotes

2005-09-14T00:49:00.000+10:30

Just surfing blog sites and I found a good one! One in a million! It's full of good quotes, such as:

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

-- Mitch Ratcliffe

Mixing handguns and tequila will let you make mistakes even faster.

Find more at the Daliy Gyaan! Snippets of Gyaan - intriguing words, quotes, poems or anything else that kicks ass!

Pictures of me!!! WOW!!!

2005-09-13T11:53:00.000+10:30

I thought that since I am using Olivebranches computer, that I could finally post some decent pictures of myself for my devoted readers (who still dont comment) to see. I only found a couple, but they are nice ones and I hope you guys like them.

Me and my two bestest buddies, Hannah and Nathaniel!

Me and my Crownie!